Watching The Wheels

A word about enclosed spaces

2006-04-19T13:22:00.000+05:30

My Cubicle..
Ah, my solace from the civilized world..
The place I can rule..
The place I choose to clutter up or keep neat..
The place that the company thinks should be given to all employees to improve productivity..

But I just realized that I can now justify dozing off during office hours. Check this, this and this out, to get an idea of what i'm talking about.

Thanks to Wiktionary and a hundred cats.

The Next Big Thing

2006-04-13T10:13:00.000+05:30

It seemed apt for me to post this..

The Maldives might never know why they called their local fishing boat this, but Indian Cricket knows pretty well, that the winds of change have arrived.The chants of Sachin, Sachin in the stands have been replaced by a name that will be chanted for the years to come.

One recent news article referred to him as the Ranchi Rambo, one of the best names that journos have come up with for cricket players in the recent past. He has a presence on the cricketing arena that very few have had. His abilities, to put it mildly, far surpass the ordinary, makes you wonder as you go past the surprising, and sometimes even take you the realms of the mundane. Every kid these days, including Gen. Musharraf wants to copy his hairstyle.

I give you, Dhoni..

Did you notice that he is doing in the pic what he best likes to do on the field..

He's having a ball..

Why did Yoda cross the road?

2006-04-06T15:15:00.000+05:30

One morning, I get flooded with birthday mails, and I reply to the mails, thanking everyone, and finishing my mails how I usually do, with the Star Wars Phrase "May the force be with you".

A mollag comes in reply for that saying this is April, not May, so it would be "April the force be with you". This agitates a certain mollag maniac, who messages me on the office messenger, and starts shooting mollags as he cannot send replies, since his office is paranoid about employees sending external mail.

The end product is a list of phrases that Yoda might have used in different circumstances, or with different people, which goes something like this: ( Note that the list below is not exhaustive, and lots of new nonsense can be added to it..)

1. Stockbroker - May the bourse be with you
2. Golfer - May the course be with you
3. Richard Stallman - May the source be with you
4. Boatman - May the oars be with you
5. Obelix - May the boars be with you
6. Soldier/sailor returning from a long hard time looking for a good night out - May the whores be with you
7. Congenitally seasick landlubber - May the shores be with you
8. Viking lover - May the Norse be with you
9. Lion recovering from sore throat - May the roars be with you
10. Personal lawyer - May divorce be with you
11. Banker - May endorse be with you
12. Sponge - May the pores be with you
13. Quadruped - May all fours be with you
14. Marvin the Paranoid Android - May the bores be with you
15. Telegraph operator - May the Morse be with you
16. Mallu guy stranded in the desert looking for a way to escape - May the horse be with you
17. Big B/Sachin - May the crores be with you
18. Terminally lazy person - May the snores be with you
19. Housemaid - May clean floors be with you (aside: a housemaid's hesitant lover might say "I may clean floors to be with you")
20. Mafia don - May the chors be with you (can also be used above - chores)
21. Peahen - May the mores be with you
22. Jim Morrison fan - May The Doors be with you
23. Democrat American population in 2000 - May the Gores be with you
24. Winnie the Pooh who's just stolen the donkey's tail because he wants it for himself - May Eeyore's be with you
25. Sutherland employee - May outsource be with you
26. Miner - May the ores be with you
27. Shopaholic - May the stores be with you
28. Selfish person - May what's yours be with you
29. Hot babe who keeps getting annoying IMs from unknown idiots wanting to be friends - May ignores be with you

Cross Posted here...

..::Catch 22::..

2006-04-06T09:54:00.000+05:30

A good day for me to return from my prolonged hibernation to the world of blogging.

And today, ironically, the first thought that struck me was this:

There was only one catch and that as Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. 'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' he observed. 'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed

Maybe it's because I turned 22 today. :)

PS: I realize that the pic above is really pixelated. Click on it to see the proper thing. And could someone tell me why this is happening??

Lucky Strike @ Fame

2005-02-28T21:29:00.000+05:30

It's been quite a while since I updated my blog, and quite a while since I've generally browsed around. This may be attributed to my vain efforts to finish my final semester project(sic), or how lifeless my life has become that I don't browse much anymore.

After a long time, I went Ego-Surfing today at the Computer Lab in college, and guess what I found! My Tsunami Poem has been posted on the NDTV website, and it's been there for a good month now.Go Here to see it.

I had just posted it on NDTV when I'd written it, and completely forgotten about it, until I stumbled upon it today!

I suppose this means that my poems are not that bad, and thus returns my renewed vigor to get poetic once again, so..Here I go!!

Ogden Nash - The Best Stuff

2005-01-29T09:49:00.000+05:30

Ogden Nash is the undisputed king of humour and poetry. Atleast I think so.. check out some of his stuff!

The Ant

The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?

The Firefly

The firefly's flame Is something for which science has no name
I can think of nothing eerier
Than flying around with an unidentified glow on a
person's posteerier.

The Guppy

Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens,
Bears have cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.

The Cow

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

The Ostrich

The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs.

The Abominable Snowman

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one,
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

The Termite

Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.

The Turtle

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.

Click here to get to a collection of some more of ROFL poetry by Nash

H2G2 - The Movie

2005-01-21T11:52:00.000+05:30

Here are some stills I found from the WWW on the H2G2 movie in the making. Should make an interesting see.

These pics are, as I see, not too clear. You can find clearer versions of these pics at the Internet Movie Database.

One Little Odyssey

2005-01-21T09:26:00.000+05:30

Left office a little earlier than usual, and thanks to the weather in Madras for the past week, there wasn't too much heat as I started down the Old Mahabalipuram road. I haven't been into too much physical activity of late, and this was a fresh new experience for the energy levels I have been radiating lately. Though there are a gazillion maxi cabs, share autos and mofussil buses plying on the road, I thought, what the heck, let me make the most of this chance to hike a little. After having walked for what I thought must have been about two kilometers, I got tired, and decided to do what Douglas Adams had found so easy to do in his masterpiece - Hitchhike!

Putting my hand out to the first set of vehicles was not the prettiest of experiences. They were a set of punks on their Bajaj Eliminators and Enfield Thunderbirds, and one of them had the balls enough to show me what I'll put up here as the longest one of the human fingers. I could have easily been discouraged by this, but I wasn't. Instead, I showed him mine, and started to look for more people to give me a lift. I saw a battered Yamaha RX 100 coming down the road, and the guy who was driving looked like a Tsunami hit fisherman(probably he was, I'll never know!). He stopped 10 yards in front of me and looked back and stared back at me." Yenga poringa?", he asked, to which I answered that I wanted to go to Adyar. "Perungudi varaikum polam vaanga!", he said, and I got on. I obviously didn't know where the hell he was taking me, and I lost the tiniest sense of direction I had in me when I landed at the Perungudi bus stop. I thanked my first helper for getting to the first milestone.

Even now, I could just take one of the buses home, but decided to push my luck a little, and see what I have coming. If I can do it once, I can do it again, right! And I again started walking down the road, away from the bus stop. Then I saw the Ford Endeavor, the vehicle of my dreams, coming down the road, like a beast strolling alone in the savannahs. Man, I'm gonna have one of these SUVs when I have the dough. I have always thought how rad it would be travel in one, and it seemed that god seemed to be a little too pleased with me that day. With just a little wave of the hand, it stopped before me, and a rather official looking gentleman asked me where I wanted to go. Maybe my TCS id-card did the trick of getting me the ride of the lifetime, and I was talking animatedly about the weather with the man till I had to get down, as he had to go another way. Which meant I had to search for another mode of transport. And what I was about to experience was the direct opposite of the Ford Endeavor. A ride in a ricketly old maxi cab, overflowing with passengers. I had travelled in crowded city buses before, but this experience was something out of the ordinary.

I got in where the Endeavor had left me, a place whose name I can't recollect, but it sounded the all to familiar blah-blah-pakkam, like most of the places in and around Madras. The bus driver and the conductor were both barely out of their teens, and the conductor had a smart-ass smirk on his face that he gave to each of the people that got into the bus. The bus driver seemed to be a trainee, the same as me, only that I am one at Tata Consultancy Services. He had to be guided by instructions from the conductor whose mouth was already overflowing with pan masala. I was literally sitting on the floor of the bus, and I assure you, the people around me had not seen soap for aleast two weeks. A funny looking man got into the bus, and asked me directions to the railway station. Me, being in the mood for fine conversation, asked him which train he wanted to catch. As it turned out, he had exactly 27 minutes to get to the railway station, and god only knows if he managed to catch his train or not.

Got down at the Adyar bus depot, and thought that this was the end to the perfect journey, an up and down ride through the finery and not-so-finery of life. I had to wait another fifteen minutes for 5-E to come along.

Here, I would like to put in a word or two about the bus rut(sic) they call 5-E. Having travelled on this bus route everytime I have to come to Anna University or IIT, I tell you, this is what a bus ride to eternity would be like. FIVE-E probably stands for 'F*@king Intolerable Vicious Evil - Exodus'. I am obviously making this up, and I wouldn't credit MTC to come up with interesting expansion for bus route names. But thankfully, the bus wasn't too crowded on the particular day, and I got home in record time (2hours 37 minutes), and rested after my little odyssey.

PS: talking of Odyssey, be there at the Music Academy on the 26th of Jan, for the Odyssey Quiz. It's gonna be great fun. And go I I M O!

::The Ultimate Journey::

2005-01-19T10:35:00.000+05:30

As the brilliant light shone through my window,
I woke up with a start from my sleep.
I felt it draw me closer,
and towards it I began to creep.

I turned back to look at what I had left,
the distance between the body and the soul.
Was this the start of the ultimate journey,
of all things this fair world holds.

The beam passed right through me,
I was as good as a piece of glass.
And as we started our journey upwards,
I thought, let me enjoy this till it lasts.

A gentle wind was the mood of the night,
soft fluffy clouds here and there.
The moon was growing bigger right before me,
and at the shrinking fields I began to stare.

Where did this path lead to?
maybe the heavens, I started to wonder.
would I finally meet the maker?
and would he punish me for my blunders?

All the people I had compromised,
in my quest for apparent glory.
Would someone remember me later,
or was my life just a passing story?

The money I had made was useless,
for I had nobody to leave it to.
No one to weep for this loss to the world,
if only the loss itself was true.

As I snapped back to reality,
The journey had ended as it had begun.
the light was still shining through my window,
but this was of the morning sun.

The purpose of the journey was revealed to me then.
I realized we just have one life to live.
But through the regrets and the disappointments,
it only matters how much we give.

Weather Pixie

2005-01-13T15:16:00.000+05:30

Check out the latest addition to my blog, the Weather Pixie!!

It gives information about the temperature, humidity, direction of winds, wind speed, cloud levels, pressure levels, and the visibility.The sensors for this service are available in virtually any place you name, Minambakkam is where I get my data from.

Plus, A gorgeous girl to boost my blog hits..Does this rock or what!!

Realization

2005-01-12T11:23:00.000+05:30

I think that was one really ordinary attempt.. I just realized this as I was reading through it after publishing..but, then I thought, why just me to have the pains of reading through crap..let all the junta see the depths of non rythmic nonsense..

Now that I'm done criticizing myself, you too can do the same!

::Marooned on an island::

2005-01-12T11:17:00.000+05:30

This is a story that has been told quiet often,
of how man could live on his own.
how he could develop the animal instinct,
and you could see the reason to the beard that's grown.

I'm no Crusoe or Sinbad,
or Tom Hanks from Castaway.
but this is a thought that occured to me,
If I could live life my way.

Roam around the sandy beaches I would,
and take in the sun that's beating.
And eat all the tropical fruits I could,
perhaps a fish or two If I get tired of what I've been eating.

Build myself a house using the wood,
that the trees have generously left for me.
And I realize how it would turn out,
given the carpentry skills that I see.

I could probably turn the place into a kingdom,
if only I could get people to follow.
But then it would be quite a task,
and I have to make sure that their heads are hollow.

If there were an escape to civilization,
a ship or an airplane that's going along.
I wonder if I would like to return,
to the world I'm supposed to belong.

And finally I think I can't live without people,
though at times when they annoy.
I will have to go back to the civilized world,
a place that's filled with both sorrow and joy.

::Quest For The One::

2005-01-07T21:54:00.001+05:30

I believe you fall in love but once,
there’s just one time you lose your heart.
When you find that one real person,
You will know, and then the dreams start.

When you know you’ve found your girl,
Go out there and let your feelings be known.
For by the time you sit by and wait,
The bird of your life would have flown.

You don’t have to do too much,
As real love knows no price or style.
Sincerity and truthfulness will do the rest,
And in her face you’ll see the smile.

There she stands, waiting for you,
To embrace you with a love that’s pure and plain.
With her you’re sure to win,
She’ll guide you through the night and rain.

This life is one long journey,
It’s hard to plot the start and end.
But you’ll know with time the meaning,
With one true love this you will spend.

The poet in me !!

2004-12-30T15:46:00.000+05:30

I didn't realize I could write poetry..until I actually did it!

Go on people, go wild with your comments..

I am waiting for constructive criticism,

unless I have to wring your neck >:->

..::One Final Warning::..

2004-12-30T15:02:00.000+05:30

This is one story that the whole world has heard,
of how mother nature poured her fury.
How thousands of lives came crashing down,
and the element of water was the jury.

Little Swamy was playing on the beach that morn.
He squished little ants and laughed with glee.
But did he know that miles away,
there was danger, which he couldn't flee.

He washed away the last ant with water,
"Die! I am your god!" he said.
At that moment the waves rose behind him,
and before he knew it, he was dead.

Is this a lesson we were to learn?
A pending message for the human race.
How could we have taken the world for granted,
and torn endless scars on nature's face.

Gaia is a forgiving person,
someone whose wrath is difficult to arouse.
But once her patience reaches the limits,
she unleashes an anger that's difficult to douse.

Times like this bring us all together,
we realize religions are nothing but lies.
And the boundaries we put around ourselves,
are things only a human could surmise.

What are we to learn from all this, you ask?
This is a warning of things to come.
We must make sure we don't become the dinosaur,
that we don't meet an end that's gruesome.

1600 and counting !!

2004-12-23T13:35:00.000+05:30

And here it comes people !

my sixteen hundredth blog hit..Well, actually, that would be six hundred, because I slyly put the counter start at 1000..but that is a secret just between you and me right?!

And I'm also quite sure that it's been me who's responsible for half of the true hits..But, if there are any fans out there( and god save them if there are!), then I would like to put out the message that without your joblessness, I wouldn't have got this far..

Thank you(or something like that!) ;)

Egosurfing

2004-12-23T13:25:00.000+05:30

Just discovered the wonders of Ego-surfing, i.e. searching for yourself on the world wide web.

And guess who is listed number two on the search for "Vivek Narayanan" on Google !!

Yay..this is virtually my biggest achievement since I've been hooked onto the internet !!

Now, all I have to do is get the moron who is listed above me, and I will be the supreme Vivek Narayanan of the world..(Atleast I can be the best of my namesakes!)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S - Some great lines

2004-12-21T14:12:00.000+05:30

Ok..this is something that I do when I'm generally fooling around on the Wild Wild Web..Here are some lines from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that got me ROTFL.

The One With The Football

Chandler: Hold on a second Joe. Where do Dutch people come from?
Joey: Uh well, the, uh, Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the other, uh, other Dutch people, they come from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Joey: Nice try. See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Margha: Oh, my.Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Let's play some ball, guys.

Chandler: Guys, guys! Come on, it's Thanksgiving! It's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!

The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel

Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right? But it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know? Face your fear. You have a fear of heights? You go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs? Get a bug, right? In this case, you have a fear of commitment. So I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.

Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man! Jump off the high dive. Stare down the barrel of a gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Yeah. Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm gonna be pretty much peeing every which way.

The One without the Ski Trip

Monica: What's "pleh"?
Joey: That's "help" spelled backwards, so that the helicopters can read it from the air.

The One where Old Heckles dies

Ross: You don't believe in evolution?Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Too easy? Too.... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is... is too easy?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
[There's a knock at the door]
Chandler: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.

The one after the Superbowl Part 1

Phoebe (singing): Now, Grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and some day you will too.
Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La
LaLalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La

Phoebe (singing):There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But don't.
'Cause that's another thing
That you don't wanna do
Everybody!
That's another thing
That you don't wanna do.

Phoebe (singing): Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Now, chickens!

Phoebe (singing): Sometimes men love women
Sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves.
La lalala lalalalala laLa la lalala lala la la

The One where Eddie Won't go

Rachel: Why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
Ross: Actually, it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Rachel: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre. This is about you stealing my wind.
Monica: You go girl! I can't pull that off, can I?
Ross: Excuse me? Your... your... your wind?
Rachel: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Ross: You... you know I... I don't have a... have a problem with that.

The one after the Superbowl Part 2

Chandler: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done!
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: Like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, okay... I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you know, you just... you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay then. Eat me, I'm done!

The one with the dollhouse
Monica: I get the dollhouse!
Phoebe: Wow! A house for dolls! That is so cool. When I was a kid, I had a barrel.
Joey:Uh, Pheebs? You had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Monica: Ya know what? You can play with my dollhouse.
Phoebe: Really? Really?
Monica: Any time you want. Ya know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Chandler: My grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.

Rachel: Joanna, this is my friend, Chandler Bing.
Joanna: Bing! That's a great name.
Chandler: Thanks. It's, uh, Gaelic for "Thy turkey's done."

Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: That's a dog. Every house should have a dog.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Chandler (holding a tissue): And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: No, no--that's the ghost for the attic.
Monica: I don't want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one. Because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute. The house was built on radioactive waste and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government.

Rachel: Okay, my boss--Joanna--when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Chandler: Oh, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man!
Rachel: That was... surreal.

The one with the Screamer

Ross: I, uh, I also need two.
Monica: Really? Who's number two?
Chandler: Whose number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.

Obviously, this shows how jobless I have been sitting in the computer lab all day..

::Porn Wars::

2004-12-21T10:00:00.001+05:30

Over the last coupla weeks, almost everybody who's anybody has had something to say about this apparent rise in porn in India. Just this morning, the CEO of Baazee.com was arrested with accordance to the IT act, which bans selling of pornographic material. E-Bay doesn't seem to be too elated at this development, and I think this is just the start of a stiff stand-off between the government and corporate policies.

People are frantic, and word's going around that the people accessing this material are being traced by goverment agencies. Now, how Indian Government agencies are going to pin down civilians for seeing porn, is something that passes over my head. Another point is that as long as you have a dial-up account, the IP address of your machine is changed dynamically every time you connect, and even if you did watch any porn, or download it, you are probably safe. And given the commitment that has been seen of governmental agencies in pinning down cyber criminals over the years, the probability of people being apprehended for the transfer of porn on the web, and over mobile phones, drops to the minimum.

I, however, have not watched this stuff, and any government people watching this space, better get off my tail. Maybe I'll watch it, maybe I won't. But one thing is for sure, India is changing, and as far as I am concerned, it is all for the better. How long are we going to go around crapping about Indian values, culture, and ethics. IIT and DPS have shown the way, transparecy is the thing that everyone likes, and this will be the future!

Cristiano Falls

2004-12-14T13:47:00.000+05:30

It's been a week since I thought I should put up this post, but I like being fashionably late, and I don't think putting up time-bound blog posts is going to make much of a diff to the amount of traffic my blog attracts.

Thus I come to what I had intended to say in this one..
It was a day before my 'Principles of Marketing & Management' exam, and as usual, I was in front of the box.Flicking channels, I stopped at DD sports, as there was nothing better playing, and decided to watch the Federation Cup Final between Dempo FC and Mohun Bagan FC. Vinod would have a thing or two to say about me watching indian domestic football, but the cable TV bastards will not help my pirsuits of EPL. That's when I saw Cristiano Junior fall. Now, my initial reaction, contrary to that of shock and grief,expressed by most other people, was comic, and I actually thought it was pretty funny.

Picture this:

You have the ball in front of you, you have the goal ahead, and just the goalkeeper to beat. The goal is there for the taking. The goalkeeper comes forward, but you easily dodge him and score. The crowd,(that's jobless enough to come and watch you),cheers and you hear the thumping of you heart when you start to celebrate. And then, suddenly, you drop dead.

It's like you are Linus Torvalds, and you just wrote Linux, and you drop dead.

It's like you are Bill Gates, and you just made your God-knows-how-many th dollar, and you drop dead.

It's like you are Amitabh Bachchan, and you've just completed your millionth advertisement, and you drop dead.

It's like you are Dubya, and you have just conquered the last oil well in Iraq, and you drop dead.

That, I think pretty much makes my point clear. I want to go in the way Cristiano went, and I, unlike most people feel happy at the way he went.

Now, for people willing to know what I want to have just done when I die, you'll just have to wait and see.

Of my silence and that of the lambs

2004-11-22T11:06:00.000+05:30

Exam time, and I'm on a roll with movies. Professional Ethics out of the way, and 'Principles of Environmental Engineering' to come next, it's high time I got my priorities right. The morons at Anna University actually think that making us study Sewage treatment processes will make us good engineers. I guess not. Having six days off to study ecosystems, sewage treatment, and environmental laws, I thought, what the heck, I have more important things to do in life.

Finally got myself to watch 'Silence Of the Lambs'. Now, most of you people out there would have already watched this movie, but I haven't been able to get myself to watch it the innumerable times it's been played on HBO and Zee MGM over the past two years. But now that we're into CAS times, and the damned operators won't play any of the good channels which I used to enjoy on TV, I mostly have to rely on the bootlegging skills of friends( Here's to Abishek) to download whole movies from P2P networks.

@'Silence Of The Lambs'

One brilliant movie, total entertainment for an hour and forty-five minutes. I was simply stunned with Anthony Hopkins, as Dr.Hannibal Lecter, and the way he portrays the man-eating,smooth-talking psychopath. Jodie Foster looked a little old to be an FBI trainee, though I should say that it would have been difficult to find an actress that could pull off the performance she has. Some of the scenes were pretty graphic, particularly the one where she finds the head of one of Hannibal's victims in a jar, almost threw me out of my chair, and the fact that I was eating didn't help either.The final touch of Buffalo Bill stalking Jodie Foster with night vision goggles was also chilling, and I wonder if you'd get the same effect when you read the book.But one thing which went over my head is how Buffalo Bill manages to miss the agent, while she puts two bullets into him, seeing into the dark and being just a couple of yards away. Overall, the movie had me rivetted to my chair, is a must see, if only for the acting of Anthony Hopkins.

Now that SOTL ,(If you can call Lord Of the Rings LOTR, why no this?!), considered by many as the mother of all Psycho movies,is done, I think I'm getting into this genre and have Se7en coming next.

With Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey, I think Se7en will be one enjoyable, if not thrilling movie. Will be back with the review..

Till then, pollute as you like, and don't give a shit!! (as opposed to the Environmental Ideologies Of AU)

Simpsons Speak -> Homer J Simpson

2004-09-23T11:16:00.000+05:30

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."

"Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."

"And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream."

"Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!"

"Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."

"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

"Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."

"Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."

"Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible."

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."

"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

"Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."

"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

"Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!"

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?"

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."

"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"

"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

''To Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."

"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"

"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

"Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy."

"I have feelings too - like ''My stomach hurts'' or ''I'm going crazy!'

The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show
me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything,
Kent. 14% of people know that."

"Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin." (on death of cat).

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."

"It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone."

"Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle."

"OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"

"Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."

"No! No no no no no no! Well, yes."

"Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will."

"Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!"

"They have the Internet on computers, now?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose."

"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

"All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one."

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day."

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."

"I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!"

"If this were really a nuclear war we'd all be dead meat by now."

"Lord help me, I'm just not that bright."

"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

"Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations: You may outsmart someone!"

"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close."

"Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!"

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

"Safety? But sir! If truth be known, I actually caused more accidents around here than any other employee, including a few doozies no one every found out about."

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

"Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!" (sung to the air of Flintstones theme song)

"Ignore the boy, Lord."

"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

"You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

"What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?"

"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming."

"The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."

"I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four."

"And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned."

"Being popular is the most important thing in the world!"

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."

When lather chokes you !

2004-09-23T10:06:00.000+05:30

Analyze this->

You get up early in the morning and your sister is leaving to Darjeeling, Sikkim and all the places in North Eastern India that you've ever dreamed of, and you're feeling pissed that you didn't get there before her..Particularly when she's going on a rather expensive school excursion..The bastards made me cough up 5 grand for the trip!

You drag yourself to the wash-basin, and the color *blue* is running
around in your head..maybe this calls for a dose of Bobby McFerrin on my computer a little later..You pick up the toothbrush from it's stand, and look at it..should I brush or not?..animals don't brush, do they? And most of the animals in the world that i've had the opportunity of meeting have a perfect set of teeth..not exactly pearly white, but a good set nonetheless..

Getting to the point of this post.. you accidentaly pick up the shaving cream lying close next to the Close-Up tube, and whaddya know, no one will be getting close to you today!

C++ Codes the Moods !

2004-09-19T18:23:00.000+05:30

As I am right now in harmony with one little programming language they call C, and it's elder bro - C++, I feel at ease to write stuff off the top of my head in coded form.

Every morning I wake up to a different mood..Dunno if it is only with me or if people out there experience the same..Anyways, the mood of the morning persists with me all through the day,
and I sometimes I feel I am in that particular mood for no reason whatsoever.

Didn't know what else to say, so I wrote out some code which will actually compile in the Turbo C++ compiler.This l'il baby could just be the code embedded in my cerebral cortex..And I've added comments for the non tech public to dig in..

// The C++ Program that decides the moods of people when they wake up every morning
#include
#include
#include
#include
#define HAPPY 0
#define PISSED 1
#define CHEERFUL 2
#define HUMANITARIAN 3
#define SERIOUS 4
#define LETS_GO_OUT_AND_KICK_SOME_ASS 5
main()
{
enum days_of_week{sunday,monday,tuesday,wednesday,thursday,friday,saturday};
int mood;
clrscr();
for(int i=sunday;i<=saturday;i++) //Seven days.. Seven Modes !
{
delay(60*60*24); //Twenty Four hours of human time..
mood=rand()%7; //Random generation of mood 0-7
switch(mood)
{
case HAPPY:
cout<<"I'm likely to be happy about something..Dunno What!?"; break;
case PISSED:cout<<"F#$@ the world! WTF am I pissed about !?"; break;
case CHEERFUL:cout<<"Let's be nice to people today.."; break;
case HUMANITARIAN:cout<<"It's not too bad to be helpful and charitable, is it?"; break;
case SERIOUS:cout<<"This day dawns with a purpose..Wonder what that could be?!"; break;
case LETS_GO_OUT_AND_KICK_SOME_ASS:cout<<"Let's go out there and kick some butt!!"; break;
default:cout<<"There is one default mood..SLOTH!!";
//Just in case there is no case!
}
}
}

Of Murugan and his Idlis

2004-09-19T18:08:00.000+05:30

This entry might be one to the yawns of every south Indian, and to the fascination of every north Indian. I say this as I have had experiences in Delhi, when I used to take idlis for lunch to school, and my classmates used to go crazy! For the uninitiated, Idlis are sour rice cakes, and we generally have them with sambar and coconut chutney. Idlis form a general part of the diet of every south Indian, and just about every second south Indian flinches at the mention of idlis for breakfast. Just how good can idlis get, you ask? The answer is there on North Usman road, in one little place they call Murugan Idli Shop. It was suggested to me by Vindy, and according to him, is the ultimate idli destination. Now, for background info, idlis are banned at home, after mom cooked endless doses of idlis for breakfast everyday for a week, me and sis made a pact, saying that if there were to be any more idlis, we would feed them to the street-dogs. On these words, which were the ultimate insult to mom's cooking, she said she wouldn't make any more idlis until we asked her specifically. And then came the Murugan Experience.

Me, Shrikant and Srinidecided to eat-out after submitting our filled in appointment orders to Virtusa, and we couldn’t find a decent place in T.Nagar to eat at. It was then that Vindy's words struck me, and I decided what the heck, a couple of idlis could'nt be that bad. And we started. I knew the place was somewhere on North Usman Road, but I wasn't sure exactly where. So, we blindly began walking down N.Usman Road, and after some five hundred meters or so down the road, came a surprise I hadn't quite expected. I had expected "Murugan Idly Shop" to just be one of those south Indian restaurants with unpainted walls, waiters with dirty stubbles, and one grumpy guy at the counter who acts like he's doing you a favor while giving you the change for what you've eaten.The place is well maintained, and gives some other supposedly good eat-outs(Read: Saravana Bhavan) a run for their money.Murugan Idli Shop has been listed on the Outlook "Top Places to eat in Chennai", some of the other contenders being Hi-Fi places like the multi-cuisine restaurants at the Taj Connemara, The Park, Chola Sheraton, and the Trident Hilton. I say this because I've never been to the restaurants mentioned above, and I severely lack the table manners which I feel will make them drive me out even if I do get into one of them. But it's not the same at M.I.S.(I've used Murugan Idli Shop often enough in this entry to make an abbreviation).

We went in and the waiter smartly came to our table, and placed a banana leaf in front of each of us."Enna Saapadaringa sar?"

I thought of saying-"You call this place a Idli Shop man, bring idlis!!"

But I said-"Rendu Rendu Idli"

And then it started. I burnt my finger when I poked at the first steaming idli. Shrikant went nuts in the place, and because I am trying to lose a little weight, ate only five idlis and a vada.Srini stayed with me, and ate like a human being. Later on, I would feel guilty for not having eaten a little more, as Shrikant offered to pay the bill. Now, for all the madrasis, the kind of money they charge here might be a little over the roof. Rs.4.50 per idli! All I will say is, you can pay any amount of money for these kind of idlis.If you happen to visit Madras (Chennai sounds stupid), be sure not to miss the true delight of South Indian Cuisine...Don't miss Murugan Idli Shop...

Note: This entry might give you the conception that they are actually paying me to advertise their shop, but actually they aren't! How many people do you think read my blog??

:: Kerala "God's own country" : TN "God Forsaken Country??" ::

2004-09-11T09:37:00.000+05:30

Here I am, after quite a layoff, and glad to be back to the world of blogging.The blogger's block seems to have gone out the window, as I return from a trip in which I discovered the magic that lies hidden in the hills of South India.If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I just got back from a eight day odyssey to Wayanad, Munnar, Thekkady, and Kodaikanal, and the effect is a little tough to wear off.

Kerala is called 'God's own country' and honestly, the tourism board couldn't have come out with a better caption to advertise this heavenly land.There is a kind of untouched virginity in the place, and you feel that you have discovered something new everywhere you go.As one classmate put it, Here's what Kerala is all about - Mazhai, Malai, Maram (Rain, Mountains, and Trees).Here's to GK for coming up with unintentional poetry and for being my co-explorer.We dared deviation from the rest of the crowd, and happily explored the wonders of mother nature, in Eravikulam National Park( GK got the leech therapy here), Edakkal caves(we almost reached the top of the mountain, from where you can supposedly see the three states of Kerala, Tamil Nadu, and Karnataka), and the place that was supposed to be a view point, but ended up being a brilliant, although fruitless, four kilometer trek up the hills of Wayanad.My personal favorite was the Eravikulam national park, AKA Rajamala, which houses the largest population of Nilgiri Tahrs in Asia. Although we got to see only one of them, the scenary was spectacular enough to forego the sight of all the Tahrs in the world. The clouds were literally at our feet and we could see them rolling their way across the mountains. And my immediate reaction was, "Man, this must be how heaven looks like!"

We also had a stunning time at the hotels where we stayed, and a special mention must go out to JC Residency, for being the highlight of our stay at Kodaikanal.The place was magical for being a budget accomodation, and the indoor games room allowed us liberties like all-night table tennis sessions. As I say that the hotel was the highlight of Kodaikanal, I wonder if you are wondering why I said that. After all, Kodai is supposed to be the most beautiful tourist destination in Tamil Nadu. My answer is - It's because of the people.There is a stark contrast in the way the people of the two states treat their surroundings. I got live examples of these when we were in Thekkady, and the lady who sold us banana chips promptly put the contents, which were in a poly pack, into a paper bag before giving it to us. On the other hand, when I wanted to dispose off a tea cup in Kodaikanal, all I could find were signs saying "Please use the Dustbin", but not a single dustbin in sight. I felt that the whole beauty of Kodaikanal has been over-exploited, and that the place has so much more to offer than molagai bajjis, dirt-cheap souvenir shopping, and noisy hawkers. Not to mention, is the tourist crowd, which will be a turn-off, if not anything else.I really think that the Tamil Nadu tourism department can pick up a leaf or two from the way the Kerala tourism is going about it's task of converting the state into India's best tourist destination.

I can go on ranting about how we can make Kodai better and how much contrast there is across the southern states, but feelings apart, I feel rejuvenated from the experiences of Kerala, and will look forward to exploring the land in more detail.Virtusa, please note.

Finally, one big "Oho!" - to JV and Siva for having put it all together, to make one heaven of a tour.

::Ze Nu Hairdoo::

2004-04-27T13:39:00.000+05:30

My receding hairline continues to depress me with every passing day. Only I know how I've longed for hair such as Shah Rukh Khan. And now, to make matters worse, I have a haircut that makes sure that even the people who didn't know about the state of my hair have come to know about it."Yenna Machan, onnaku ivalavu periya sottaiya?!"...Yeah right. Let's all laugh at the baldy!

I will never forget that eventful Friday morning when I woke up feeling particularly rebellious. I decided I had taken enough of carrying around a mop of hair that was inevitably falling from the front everyday, and I could not do anything to stop it. "You have it in your genes, Vivek", I told myself. "The harder you try to conceal the truth, the harder you will be hit when the final strand falls off. Life is not about how you look, and who gives a damn about Shah Rukh Khan's hair anyway?! I don't give a damn if girls don't find me attractive enough. I wasn't Brad Pitt in the first case! And bald people are supposed to possess more brains. I'd rather have the brains."

When I told my grandmother that I was going to cut my hair today, she immediately refused. "Today is Friday. You are not going to the barber on a Friday!", she said. As mentioned before, I was in a particularly rebellious mood that day, and nothing could stop me from questioning superstitions and any other nonsense. I argued with my grandmother for half-an-hour before she gave up and could not answer my questions on why people shouldn't cut their nails, or trim their hair or shave on particular days."Kadavale,these youngsters have no respect for older values. "I heard her murmur to herself, as I triumphantly walked out of the house, pleased with myself of having successfully question counts of andh-vishwas that the people of this world possess.

The entry to the barber's shop made me feel something was out of place. Maybe I should have listened to my grandma. Maybe this whole thing is wrong. Maybe I should my hair stay where it is and allow it to fall over time. These were the thoughts running in my mind as I took the hot-seat and the barber asked me,"Shorta Vettidalama,sar?"

"OK"

I tried to reassure myself that this was not such a bad idea after all. How bad can haircuts be? I've seen people which worse haircuts. So, buckle up for the ride.

The ride, or might I say the Safari, lasted a mere twenty minutes as he clipped away at my hair with ease and assurance. And then it was done. The moment of truth came as he put the final touches to what he believed was his masterpiece."Supera irukku, sar.Neenga paakarthuku Ayutha Ezhuthu Madhavan maadhiri irikkinga."

And the result of it is the hairstyle I sport today. Well, it really isn't a hairstyle.Now,I hope against hope that this will soon become the fashion, so I can blend in with the crowd.

To finish off the entry on a positive note, there are also upsides to being free of hair. You don't have to spend money on shampoos, hair oil, or hair gels. You don't have to spend time combing your hair, and best of all, you can call yourself cool.

Yo, Wanna to try this kewl new style?

:: Birthday Ramblings ::

2004-04-17T20:16:00.000+05:30

Foreword

I had intended to put up this post on the 7th of April, a day after my birthday. But owing to the constant reminders of Mr. Murphy and his famous law, the two floppy disks that I had with me to get stuff from my computer at home to the browsing center got corrupt. And I was either too engrossed with TCP/IP and Embedded Architecture or was too lazy after that to purchase new floppies. Hence, the slightly delayed post. But what the heck..I don’t give a damn anyway.

I might even go to the limits of adding another corollary to the never ending Murphy Database of why things go wrong

“ Just when you are without an Internet connection at home, and you have a time specific blog post to upload, the two floppies that you use will go corrupt.”

I know that was pretty lame, but what the heck. This is my blog, and I say what I want to!

Just how important are our birthdays? Are they just like any other day in our lives? Why do we go around celebrating us growing old? Why do people make such a big fuss if you forget to wish them a happy birthday? Oh, and most importantly, what is the point of birthday parties anyway?

These are just some of the questions that were running in my mind when my Mom, my Grandma and my Sis woke me up in the morning of the 6th of April, to wish me a happy birthday. The whole day was spent with not too much of activity, and though I was receiving lots of telephone birthday wishes the whole day, I felt I just didn’t get enough. Is turning twenty really that much to celebrate? The point I’m trying to make here is that birthdays are nothing but illusions.

When a person calls and wishes me a happy b’day, I immediately put him/her on my list of people to call on their birthdays. I call this the ‘They-Wished-Me-So-I-Have-To-Wish-Them’ list (Please Note that this doesn’t go for really close friends and relatives). For example, I got a call from this girl (name not mentioned to hide from embarrassment) I had studied with in school in the 7th standard and she wished me a happy birthday. Now, I had no idea of whom I was talking to when I picked up the receiver. And when I put down the phone, I immediately added her to “The List”. Though this doesn’t guarantee that I will do it, given my memory power that’s failing with every birthday, and the energy levels I radiate that are generally attributed to a Sloth, you can assume that at least I had an attempt at it. But I feel obliged to the people who’ve taken the pain of calling on me.

Me against birthdays is a whole lot more than personal. I look at birthdays as a national waste. Of the 1 billion-odd people living in India, there are about 40% who can afford to celebrate their birthdays with parties. Now, averaging that, you get about 10,000 parties happening all over the country everyday. And putting the cost of each birthday party at an average rate of Rs.1000 spent per party, you get a grand total of a million bucks spent everyday, just for birthday parties! Oh yes, don’t forget to add the money people spend on the gifts to hand out to the birthday baby.

Is the gift you received for your birthday really significant to you? Chances are that you don’t give a damn. Unless it’s a pen or a book that can be put to good use, chances are also that you will lock away the useless gift or put it up in the showcase, where it will do nothing but gather dust.

And just why do we have to celebrate the ageing of a human being? If we had to celebrate the ageing of man, why the fawck (word changed to cleverly conceal inner meaning) do we mourn when a person dies?

And then, birthdays feed anger and breed violence. You might feel like going and strangling a person close to you for having forgotten your birthday. (I won’t mention whom; I might just get away with murder!) With this, I say that if you know me, and if you forgot to wish me a happy birthday, you are welcome to do so. As they say, better late than never.

And uncannily, Agent Smith’s words during the final fight of Good Vs Evil seem to fit right in.

“Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of Perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence, that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them is artificial as The Matrix itself.”

After all is said and done, and all the dust is settled, let me point out to you that the stuff you’ve been reading is totally the views of the Author’s alter ego (The dark side, if I might add!).

This is the good Vivek speaking..Please don’t ignore the 6th of April next year..

::Blame It On Blogger::

2004-03-30T12:21:00.000+05:30

If you've been looking into my blog for, well, the last month, consider yourself lucky. I think it would have easily qualified for, if not won an award for the worst blog available. Just like Saurav struggles initially to get his eye in and his feet moving against Shoaib before playing his first gorgeous Cover-Drive(Now that we are in Indo-Pak Cricketing times), I have found out the hard way of making your blog looking pleasing to the eye. The tale of woe about my efforts to change my blog skin go back a month.

The story starts in the computer lab of Sri Sairam Engineering College .We are supposed to be preparing for an event called Pot Pourri to be conducted at Convergence-04, an tech-symposium for the first years.By this time,all three of us,i.e. Me,Vinod and Shrikant have set up our blogs and Vinod has taken his first steps to making his blog look decent(I won't exaggerate myself).Anyway, we are sitting in the computer lab, and basically doing nothing,(Which is what we had planned to do in the first case) and I Google (Used as a verb in this case) for "blogger+blog skins" to get links to about a Million sites(Those guys at Google really know what they are doing!).Opening up about 20 windows, which is what I usually do, I look at the different sites that had blog skins to offer for download. I download about five skins, which looked pretty decent and put them onto the machine I was sitting on. Then I try opening them. And guess what, the machine didn't have WinZip on it. And off you go to the Lab Administrator(Lab Assistant is more like the post he ought to hold, but who cares about posts anyway!) to ask, "Sir, andha machinela Winzippa install panni tharingla?"(Sir, can you install WinZip on that machine?).And in typical SSEC ishtyle, he replies, "Naalekki vaa pa."(Come tomorrow).So, Day-1 ends up with me feeling pleased with myself;Atleast I managed to download stuff to try out on my blog.

Day-2 of the ordeal begins. After persuasion and kissing-up for about an hour, I manage to get the attention of the Lab Admin to install, or at least give me permission to install WinZip on that machine. With the formalities done, it's time to get down to business. Or so I think. I type out blogger.com on my browser window, and I get "Http Error:425 - Unable to Connect". Now, the proxy server on our college doesn't want my Cyber Identity looking good. And the lab assistant can't do anything about it this time. And my conscience tells me at this point," Take your time, Vivek, this is not going to be easy."

Day-3 comes a good week later. I've almost forgotten about the time I downloaded Blog skins on some machine in the Lab. Coming into the lab and feeling too bored to do Java programs, I make up my mind to finish off the job today. Uploading the blog is no mean task. You just have to copy and paste it in the template window once you're logged into Blogger.This is where Blogger goes cranky, and thus the name of this entry. Having selected The Simpsons skin from the ones I downloaded, I just paste it in and republish my brogan then I click the "View Blog" link on the window to get one nasty shock(OK, I'm exaggerating a bit on the nasty shock thingy!..but a shock nonetheless). My blog shows me one single entry, no links, no description of my blog, and Homer Simpson is staring me in the face."Doh!"is to put it mildly.

I let the blog look the way it was for about two weeks before I go to the lab and again got myself bored with Java(As far as I'm concerned, Nothing can beat plain old C++).I select the default skin (the one you see now)and republished my blog, and I see that it at least got to display all my entries. Then I go to the template window again to see it still displaying the old template(The Simpsons).And republishing the blog gets the old, bad looking blog running again. Talk about photographic memory! Boy, you guys at Blogger should make a patent out of this.

One week later, because of our unit tests, or because of my lethargy, I come back to the computer lab to find my blog still displaying one entry. I consult with Vindy, sitting in the next machine, equally jobless, but he's equally clueless. I mutter curses under my breath, not because I have the decency, but because I'll get thrown out of the lab if I curse out loudly." This is it !" I tell myself," This is the limit and I don't know what to do". Then I say to myself that this is the final attempt. If it doesn't do something now, I'm bringing down this blog, and I probably won't blog anymore. And by my unbelievable luck or malfunctioning Blogger
technology, the site finally displays a proper, if not great looking blog.

So,If you people have had similar problems with blogging, don't come around bothering me, coz I ain't gonna help you!

Moral of the story: What the F@#$?!This story has no morals.Infact, it is Immoral! I'm no Aesop you know!

© Officially the longest blog written by Vivek; not because he intended it to be this big, but because he was getting too bored studying for the exams.

The Vahana of my Dreams

2004-03-09T19:46:00.000+05:30

My battered old Bajaj M80 refuses to carry me around anymore..It gave out it's last plea for letting go last week..The point is that I've been driving ths beast for around 5 years now, without license,RC book,or any insurance..(Traffic police of chennai plz note!)

Me goes to a friend's place and decide to go"triples" on the M80, to go to another friend's place..Note that one of the guys with me already has a fractured arm, weighs about 90 kilos, and is damn scared of dogs(that's koushik for you!)..

So, merrily, we head out and board the great one...

I try to kick start it..it doesn't listen..and after 5 mins of kicking, it starts!

whoa! and we're on our way!

somehow, we manage to sit, with koushik sitting in the middle, me driving and deepesh almost hanging out of the vehicle, right at the back..Starting out..we drive for about two minutes, when koushik looks to the front and says"Machan, there are a bunch of dogs ahead da!"

who cares..I tell him..and then it happens.

The head of the pack, as if he's been waiting for us all the time,jumps into action..

Our M80 lets out moan after moan, as I try desparately to accelarate, with koushik and deepesh lifting their legs into the air, to make sure Mr.Dog does'nt snap at their legs..I lose balance and "We All Fall down!"

The moral of this story:Never go triples with one of the people being a fat guy with a broken arm who is scared of doggies ! Or better yet, don't drive at all !

PS:For all you people out there who are itching to know if we survived the dog attack, we did..and we live to tell about it.

Raving about the Ring

2004-02-26T13:30:00.000+05:30

A foreword to the Chennai City Crime branch who are after people who market "thiruttu VCDs"..It wasn't me..

When I saw the final part of the trilogy of "The Lord of the Rings", I was the unappionted mascot of the movie from the next day, asking people who had either seen the previous parts or the ones who sat through and came out successful having read the books..Although I honestly felt bored while reading parts of the book, I couldn't help but to admire JRR Tolkien for having put it all together..

The visual effects in the movie are simply stunning and the movie brings in the pace in the story that unfortunately Tolkein didn't do in the books..Too bad the movie only releases only in march in India..I don't understand why the fools have delayed it so much..

This statement is official: THE RETURN OF THE KING ROCKS !

To finish of::(Frankly,I didn't know how else to finish this entry!)

One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them.
One ring to bring them all,
And in the Darkness to bind them.

The Second Thought Syndrome

2004-02-17T19:44:00.000+05:30

This looks to be another one of those days where I have nothing to do more than to sit and wonder..what is life all about?I know this might sound a deeply philosophical question at first, but delving into it a little deeper,Life is to live..(Duh!)
::At this point my conscience tells me:"Shut the crap ,Vivek!"And I stop !

On second thought, I decide to ignore the inner voice and decide to continue on the beautiful journey of deciding what life really means to all us people..Maybe I should join one of those courses on living life joyfully, or even the one where they tell you what god intended to do when he created mankind..

On third thought,Maybe I won't! Maybe I will continue to sit in this dark room in front of my computer..

On fourth thought,Maybe I will take a walk to the nearby "Dada Bhai" chat stall and eat the worst possible Bhel Puris made in the world, made by our very own Mr.Munusami..

On fifth thought,Maybe I won't do that either! Maybe I'll turn on the TV and watch the reproductions of the classics of yester-years, being destroyed by hapless DJs and models on the verge of total nirvana..(Which, by the way Shrik shamelessly watches, putting the TV on mute..)

On sixth thought,(I know this is getting painfully redundant) I realize that my conscience wasn't wrong when it asked me to shut the crap.

On the final thought, I see that this game of choices isn't getting me anywhere..As the Oracle says "You can't see past a choice you do not understand."So, I will stop here and hope that your choice is to close this browser window and do some productive work!

.::Getting Bored in the Lab::.

2004-02-06T11:52:00.000+05:30

I could go on talking about the exploits of the indian cricket team for the past two months down under..but,the matter of the fact remains..after all, the indian cricketers are after all indian..I suppose indians are pretty thin when i comes to grit, and toughness, both mental and physical..
This might not go to the tastes of my fellow ndians..but the topic is open to argument..
as i write this, a parallel browser window tells me the collapse of the indian top order..this hasn't happened too many times on this tour..but it is not something we are not used to..I could go on right now on the abilities of cricketers now..but for the benefit of the non cricketing "junta", I stop now and hope they atleast give the aussies a good fight!

My FiRsT bLoG ! :)

2004-02-06T11:23:00.000+05:30

This being my first blog, I will stop with a few lines abt what purposes I intend this blog to satisfy..Well,nothing..All I do with the free time in my computer lab in college is write blogs..Actually, that's what I intend to do..Unless I get caught by the lab assistant..
He's coming arnd now..so,ciao!!