F.R.I.E.N.D.S - Some great lines

Ok..this is something that I do when I'm generally fooling around on the Wild Wild Web..Here are some lines from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that got me ROTFL.

The One With The Football

Chandler: Hold on a second Joe. Where do Dutch people come from?
Joey: Uh well, the, uh, Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the other, uh, other Dutch people, they come from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Joey: Nice try. See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Margha: Oh, my.Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Let's play some ball, guys.

Chandler: Guys, guys! Come on, it's Thanksgiving! It's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!

The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel

Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right? But it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know? Face your fear. You have a fear of heights? You go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs? Get a bug, right? In this case, you have a fear of commitment. So I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.

Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man! Jump off the high dive. Stare down the barrel of a gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Yeah. Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm gonna be pretty much peeing every which way.

The One without the Ski Trip

Monica: What's "pleh"?
Joey: That's "help" spelled backwards, so that the helicopters can read it from the air.

The One where Old Heckles dies

Ross: You don't believe in evolution?Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Too easy? Too.... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is... is too easy?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
[There's a knock at the door]
Chandler: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.

The one after the Superbowl Part 1

Phoebe (singing): Now, Grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and some day you will too.
Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La
LaLalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La

Phoebe (singing):There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But don't.
'Cause that's another thing
That you don't wanna do
Everybody!
That's another thing
That you don't wanna do.

Phoebe (singing): Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Now, chickens!

Phoebe (singing): Sometimes men love women
Sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves.
La lalala lalalalala laLa la lalala lala la la

The One where Eddie Won't go

Rachel: Why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
Ross: Actually, it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Rachel: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre. This is about you stealing my wind.
Monica: You go girl! I can't pull that off, can I?
Ross: Excuse me? Your... your... your wind?
Rachel: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Ross: You... you know I... I don't have a... have a problem with that.

The one after the Superbowl Part 2

Chandler: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done!
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: Like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, okay... I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you know, you just... you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay then. Eat me, I'm done!

The one with the dollhouse
Monica: I get the dollhouse!
Phoebe: Wow! A house for dolls! That is so cool. When I was a kid, I had a barrel.
Joey:Uh, Pheebs? You had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Monica: Ya know what? You can play with my dollhouse.
Phoebe: Really? Really?
Monica: Any time you want. Ya know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Chandler: My grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.

Rachel: Joanna, this is my friend, Chandler Bing.
Joanna: Bing! That's a great name.
Chandler: Thanks. It's, uh, Gaelic for "Thy turkey's done."

Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: That's a dog. Every house should have a dog.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Chandler (holding a tissue): And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: No, no--that's the ghost for the attic.
Monica: I don't want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one. Because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute. The house was built on radioactive waste and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government.

Rachel: Okay, my boss--Joanna--when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Chandler: Oh, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man!
Rachel: That was... surreal.

The one with the Screamer

Ross: I, uh, I also need two.
Monica: Really? Who's number two?
Chandler: Whose number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.

Obviously, this shows how jobless I have been sitting in the computer lab all day..